Happy birthday!

You deserve this space. But before you occupy it without my annoyance, I want to thank you for being human with me. And for being non-expressive of how bad I make you feel.

When we lose our cultural site

I'm pretty sure that if Ka Pepe (Mercado Rizal) is alive today, the least that he would want is a statue to honor his deeds for the country he passionately loved.

Perhaps he would prefer that we spend money to build libraries or invest in conducting researches for eye diseases.

But he is dead. And I believe we just commemorated something centennial about his life.

Anyway, our ancestors built his statue in the same park where he was executed simply because he is the elected national hero. And that statue has been the landmark of many visiting selfie-taking tourists and of foreign leaders who pay respect.

Maybe we should all just move the Rizal Park somewhere else. How about in Calamba where he was born? Perhaps Ka Pepe's townmates will take better care of the cultural aspect his statue stands for.

Or maybe let's have the cultural community hold a survey among local governments, excluding The city of Manila, and ask who wants to adopt the Rizal Park.

We should move the park somewhere outside of Manila. Obviously, the local government of Manila when it allowed the Torre de Manila be constructed right behind Rizal's statue, demonstrated signs of oblivion. We somehow forgot that the park symbolizes injustice done to a hero. If you ask me, Germany has a better understanding of taking care of the friendship that Ka Pepe left as a legacy with them.

I mean, unless someone in business negotiates to convert the facade of Torre de Manila into something Filipiniana (or like the Taj in India), then it wouldn't be an eyesore when we have people take pictures.

We just lost our own Tiannanmen Square.  How sad for the community.

Black or white

When we do more tasks than expected of our JD, and we don't get to be recognized or promoted in the office, a lot of times we just make jokes about it. 

We tell ourselves, "Oh that's because I have a hidden talent. It's so hidden that it takes a long while before folks recognize it." 

And then we become serious and say a prayer quietly every time we sigh, "God sees this. This will count someday."

That is easy to do. But this one is different. It becomes challenging when you apply the same thing in situations when there are people that you know who "like away" statements that actually strike you down as a human being. Although they don't directly dislike you, their act is an outward showmanship that there is a large part of you that they will never accept.

And you feel that they put a condition to liking you because of what they do. 

And it makes me regret being your friend. I am ashamed that you put people like me behind some hidden line and like us only when you choose to. I wish you can be more like me - brave to accept you for what you are and ready to fight for your right to be recognized because we are the same after all. I wish you can be more loving the way we do. Because right now, I really feel that your actuation was very hurtful. You don't even really know me or where I come from, or why I don't show up in your socials because people will look at you as if you're a weirdo. Sometimes people are even kinder to drug addicts than to us.

So yea, Someone can see all these sorts of degree of hatred and conditional liking. I just know that between you and me, I am stronger and vey much likeable than you.

Hallmark card

Paano kung hindi mo na masabi ang I love you with the same ... to the same ...? Kailangan bang sabihin pa rin?

Sudden stop

.

I do not know how it is to be celebrated

Mabuti pa ang mga namatay. They are remembered and celebrated on All Souls Day.

No one celeberates me. Or my contributions at work. No thank yous in the house for the things I do. I do not know what the people around me think. When it's my birthday, I only get a handful of birthday greetings. Very, very few people wish me a happy day. And then to actually celebrate my birthday, well, goodluck to that.

I am not celebrated. This means I am not special.

And that is why I spontaneously celebrate other people's birthdays. I buy cake and prepare food, even when my money is just enough. Because I like them to feel special, to celebrate them.

Because I don't have those and I know the feeling of being neglected. And the feeling of accepting the fact that I am not special enough to be celebrated. That a greeting is all that I need.

No dates, unless I initiate it. No occassions. No candles to blow.

N.

What a day

No one is going to invite me out to celebrate Father's Day.  It has never happened. Maybe it won't in this lifetime. I have to understand that.

In the same way, no one asked me to celebrate Mother's Day. Simply because there's no one around who will ask.

Someone who will just ask me, even if the celebration doesn't take place, is a lonely thought.

I am lonely. A person who does both roles of parenting to a growing son is a lonely life. No one to share on-the-dot struggles, right when it happens. No one to share sudden spontaneous reactions.

Simple invitations can make you less lonely.